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 Post subject: Girl's Night Out
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:40 pm 

Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:12 pm
Posts: 24
(This occurs sometime between "The Glass Case" and "Tangled Webs". Emerald has no relation to Threatener that I am aware of, other than also being a dragonfly with a sniper rifle.)

"So do you know why she's here?"

"No."

"Have you asked her?"

"She'll tell me when she wants to."

Temper peered around the corner of the kitchen door into the dining
room, where their guest was.

"Do you think she's decided to come back and kill us?"

"She's not going to kill us." Emerald finished pouring out a bowl of
dried mayflies and ants and checked on the blender which was busily
pureeing raw, bloody meat together with cream.

"I've never understood how you could be so sure about that."

"I lived in a room with her for ten years and my spark's still
sparkling. Stop peering out like that, you look like an idiot."

Temper's head twitched back and he looked angry for a moment, but then
he visibly calmed himself. He moved away from the doorway and put his
arms around Emerald's waist.

"If people knew what an anal retentive bookworm she actually was, they
wouldn't be so afraid of her," Emerald told him.

"Hrmph," he said. Unconvinced.

"Go on a walk."

"I think I'll go on a walk."

----

Emerald brought out a bowl of bugs and a bowl of blended meat, blood,
and cream. She put them on the table, transformed into beast mode,
buzzed onto a perch, and grabbed one of the flies out of the bowl.
Sphinx leaned forward, off the couch, and lapped politely at the more
macabre bowl.

They talked for a while. Emerald thanked Sphinx for saving the
universe during the whole Beast thing and Sphinx learned that Emerald
and Temper had been part of a resistance movement on Cybertron called
the Purification, which had for the most part dissipated after the
threat was gone. Lately, Emerald had been trying to start up a bank
that catered to mercenaries who often needed to make withdrawals in
very strange currencies in very dangerous places. She found it a nice
combination of her financial know-how and her and Temper's occasional
desire for excitement. Sphinx reported that Emanon was well and that
he and she had recently come back from what she assumed was a rift in
space and time to discover that a number of different dimensions
seemed to have merged into one timeline. They compared notes and
memories for a while to try and establish what the past looked like
now and made other small talk before Sphinx finally began to explain
why she had come. Shortly, Sphinx had to pause because Emerald found
herself unable to stop laughing.

"Oh PRIMUS. Primus. Oh Primus' left interface cable." Unable to stay
still, Emerald was buzzing around the room as she spoke.
"That's...that's amazing. Oh Primus. That's hilarious. That's the best
joke I've heard in decacycles."

"I am pleased to have brought joy into your life," Sphinx said. Her
ears were flat against the back of her head and she was staring
fixedly at the center of the table.

"You have no idea, you have NO IDEA how long I've been waiting for
this to happen. Sparkly Miss Ice Queen fallen down off her throne!
Miss "Relationships are awkward and inconvenient, but I have been
informed that in rare cases they can be rewarding". I'm curious, just
curious, do you have any idea how many times I came to you for help
with Temper, and you didn't even look at me? You were faintly
irritated that I was interrupting your primedamned book?"

"I am sorry."

"This is justice. This is absolute proof that the universe is a just place."

"Are you quite done?"

"No. I need to savor this."

Emerald landed back on her perch and made contented buzzing noises.
Sphinx watched her with and expression somewhere between baleful and
doleful.

"Okay. I'm done."

"Wonderful."

"So who's the guy? Tell me about the guy. Or is it a girl?"

"He is male."

"Great! Not that it matters. What's he like?"

"He left."

"He what? Why? Was it the killing people? I bet it was the killing
people. That limits your dating options, you know."

"It was not that. I am not entirely sure why. Apparently he needed to
deal with some aspect of his past."

"Is he coming back?"

"He did not say."

"Okay. Well, then screw him. But you're dating now. You're doing
actual, social things. That is one hundred and fifty thousand credits
worth of exciting."

"I have always been impressed by how exactly you can quantify your emotions."

"Death is your answer to everything, money is mine. We need to go on a
girl's night out."

Sphinx moved back from the table. "Absolutely not."

"We can go down to the Psilon street mercinaries bar. Or the Glass
Terrace. We'll find people cool with you killing people. You'll have
fun."

"I have never enjoyed going out with you."

"That's because you missed out on the main point! Let me guess: you
met this guy and immediately felt attracted to him and you danced
around each other for ages before getting down to it and once that was
over with you didn't really think about anything but each other until
he split. Am I right?"

Sphinx didn't respond immediately, which was tantamount to a
confirmation in Emerald's quickly moving world.

"You're missing out on half the fun. There's flirting and getting
spiked energon bought for you and dancing, which you are not allowed
to do," Emerald amended, remembering what had happened last time
Emanon had tried to teach Sphinx how to dance. "I mean, commitment's
nice and all, but but it's not everything, you know? No, nevermind,
you don't. And it's not like this is going to be hard for you. Men
have always been falling over themselves to talk to you, even when
they know you're fucking insane and creepy. Wasn't there that guy on
Tefion 5 who offered you, what was it, a house? As a kind of welcome
and please stay in the neighborhood thing?"

"The man in question was the dictator we were on that planet to
overthrow. People who are both attracted to and willing to associate
with me are almost exclusively either evil or insane," said Sphinx.

"You know what your real problem is? You're a pessimist. We're going
on a girl's night out."

"I am not here for a girl's night out," Sphinx said, closing her eyes.
"I came for advice."

"My advice is to stop moping and go out with me tonight."

"I do not mope."

"And you don't sulk either. I'm going to go get my credit stick."
Emerald took off, buzzing into the next room.

Sphinx did not say anything, but tucked her paws under her and
appeared generally immobile. Emerald came back into the living room,
in robot mode now, and examined her.

"Look, how much do you know about this kind of thing?"

Sphinx did not respond.

"And how much do I know about this?"

Silence again.

"We're going out. It'll make you feel better."

-----

"You should have a drink. It'll make you feel better."

"No."

"The bartender keeps looking at you. He's kind of cute. And a cat."

"The bartender keeps looking at me because he recognizes me and is
concerned that I will begin picking off his customers."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. This manner of terror becomes quite easy to identify after so many years."

"Wow. He kind of...twitches every time you look at him."

"Mmm."

"Maybe we should go somewhere else."

-----

"You need to not use vivisection as an ice breaker. Ever again."

"It was a joke."

"Jokes about cutting people open while they're still alive are not
funny. And since when do you joke? I know you didn't make that up by
yourself. You're not creative enough."

"I learned it from a recent acquaintance. I joke all the time. I am very funny."

"And you never mope or sulk."

"You understand. I am so pleased."

-----

"Okay. You're obviously not drunk. Where do you keep putting all the
energon we're being sent?"

"My teapot has been returning it to the bartender."

"What the fuck?"

"He has overcome his initial reservations about my reputation in light
of the fact that I am now encouraging people to give him free money."

"If you don't want to drink or talk, why are we even at a bar?"

"Because apparently it will make me feel better. Also: I wish to
discover how long the other patrons will continue to send me drinks
without any encouragement or affirmation that it will result in
anything."

"You're such a cat."

"Mmm."

-----

"I really fucking mean it this time. No more vivisection."

"It is a funny joke."

-----

"I hate you. I fucking hate you. I have no idea why I thought this
would be a good idea."

"I do feel much better now."

"I don't care. I hope you rot and die. Or rot and live. Whichever is
worse for you."

-----

They were flying back to Emerald's apartment. It was a little hard for
them to keep pace with each other since Sphinx had a kind of swooping
flight and Emerald made a straight bee-line forward through the air,
but they'd had practice. Still, it made conversation hard and Emerald
wasn't speaking to Sphinx at the moment, so they flew in silence.
Emerald was, naturally, the first one to break it.

"You're going to be fine, you know."

"Hmm?"

"You're acting weird. But you deal with shit. You'll deal with this.
You'll be fine."

"Mmm."

"I mean, once every five centuries, I think you're allowed to have an
angsty teenage freak out over a guy."

"Hrm."

"Speaking of teenage freak outs, have you told Lillith about this?"

"Absolutely not."

"It would make her century."

"Her subsequent harassment would destroy what vestiges of sanity I
have remaining."

"It's your call."

They flew for a few more minutes. They were almost home.

"So, Temper and I have been having this ongoing argument," Emerald started.

"How unusual for you."

"Shut the fuck up. Anyway, I was thinking you could resolve it."

"What is the argument?"

"It's about one of the missions we went on when we were on a team."

"Yes?"

"Did we actually fight the Tooth Fairy?"

"Yes."

"Because Temper is convinced it was some sort of mass hallucination."

"We fought the Tooth Fairy."

"Huh."

"It was extremely difficult. We were almost destroyed."

"Yeah. Still, not something I'd put on my resume."

"No."


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